Sunday, January 22, 2012

Great Expectations

There's a saying I use for people who have expectations of me I can't possible fulfill 
and that saying is:

I Can't Tap Dance To Your Ballet

If you're the type of person that has to be right, you are making others wrong. Looking back on past relationships, it became blatantly obvious no matter what I did, I could not fulfill the expectations of two friends. I had a 15 year friendship and a 23 year friendship end because I was not able to tap dance to their ballet. In both situations, I was constantly made wrong and they just couldn't accept the fact I could no longer cater to their every wish or whim.  I think they both forgot I too had a life, a very busy one.

My husband has a great saying, and always reminds me, "If you don't expect anything, you cannot become disappointed." Over the years, I have found so many expect certain things of me I can't possibly fulfill.  God knows I tried but no matter what I did, I couldn't make them happy.

The reason I'm reflecting on these past situations is to let others know how important it is to accept your friends for who they are.  This would be a wonderful New Year Resolution for some people.  It really isn't as difficult as it sounds.

I don't do well with high maintenance people.  I don't keep a score card as to who made the last phone call, who picked up the last breakfast, lunch or dinner bill, who had the last cookout or who drove last.  That's not friendship.  True friendship is like a marriage, it's give and take and all the other petty little stuff works itself out. True friends let each other be who they are, they don't try to reshape the other person into who they think they should be.  It either works, or it doesn't.

There are others that have crossed my path where I couldn't tap dance to their ballet.  Whether it be family or friends, I find as I get older, wiser and (hopefully) more mature, I have come to the realization it's okay to live your life the way you want to live it, not how others expect you to live it.  Life is too short.  If one wants to live a more powerful, positive life, you can't be with those who are constantly making you wrong. If you're an understanding person and can step out of your fixed way of being at times, you can see there is no need to make others wrong.  Certain times we all need to stop our way of thinking, look at the other person and really listen to what they are saying.  That's my definition of friendship.

I am truly blessed with the handful of friends I now have. They are low maintenance, require no expectations and we all want the same things out of life.  Simplicity, happiness, joy and respect.  Reflecting back on a conversation I had with my father many years ago, he told me, if I could count my true friends on one hand, I was a lucky girl.  At this time in my life, I am a very lucky girl.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love this post. So true. I have spent a lot of my life worrying about what others think and pleasing "friends" rather than living my life--as I age, I hope that is changing!! Please keep blogging, I love reading!!!!



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